Sunday, March 13, 2016

Water in an American City Dangerously Contaminated

January 17, 2016


Flint, Michigan: Last week, Michigan Governor Rick Snyder declared a state of emergency because of elevated levels of lead in the city of Flint's drinking water - 900 times the EPA limit. According to the Centers for Disease Control, lead exposure can affect the entire bodily system especially the brain. There is no safe blood level.

Now, a new deadly threat has appeared. 87 cases of Legionella or "Legionnaires' Disease" have recently occurred in the county, 10 of which were fatal. Legionella is a bacteria found naturally in untreated water. It can cause fever, headaches, shortness of breath and aching of the muscles. It is contracted by inhaling airborne water droplets, which cause a pneumonia-like infection in the lungs.

This is not Flint's first state of emergency because of water contamination. In the 1980s, water was flown in by helicopter because of a leaking gas station. This week, the National Guard was called in to distribute bottled water and water filters to people's homes. However, their efforts are too little and too late. Michigan State Police have been trudging through the snow with volunteers to distribute lead testing kits.

The radical deterioration of environmental safety standards is directly related to Flint's bankruptcy. Public Act 436, passed in 2012, allowed the governor to appoint an emergency manager over the financially distressed city. The emergency manager has broad dictatorial powers. Elected city officials have no standing against him. This unelected, governor appointed overseer can unilaterally overturn union contracts, sell off city assets, whatever it takes to make sure Bondholders are paid. Debt service to the banks has already been a strain on the city budget for decades.

"In 2014, the city of Flint, under the control of an 'emergency manager' appointed by the governor, was looking for ways to save money. To that end, the Snyder administration approved a plan in which the city would switch its water source: instead of getting water from Detroit, Flint would cut costs by drawing water directly from the Flint River... But in order to make Flint River water safe for people, it has to receive a special anti-corrosion treatment. Failing to treat the water sends corrosive river water through local pipes, it starts to eat through plumbing, and the result is lead poisoning," explains Steve Benen on MSNBC.

"The Snyder administration did not take the necessary precautions. What's more, as the community grew concerned about its water, administration officials initially told local residents not to worry and to keep drinking the water. The result, of course, is a public health crisis in which countless city residents, including many children, have been poisoned, which leads to severe and long lasting consequences. Snyder last week declared an official emergency - he also issued an apology of sorts on New Year's Eve - but the people of Flint still don't have safe, clean water."

"The decision to unhook from Detroit and get Flint's water from the highly polluted Flint River was made by Ed Kurtz, the unelected Emergency Manager of this majority African-American city. Kurtz's unelected successor, Darnell Earley, carried out the switch. After Flint emerged from emergency management, Snyder had the nerve to appoint Earley EM over Detroit Public Schools," writes Martha Grevatt in Workers World. "The pollutants in the Flint River — a result of decades of unchecked chemical dumping by General Motors and other companies — have made the river water highly corrosive. This allowed lead to leach from the aging pipes in Flint's system... Now, the corrosion of the lead pipes has destroyed the entire infrastructure. Even though the city has reconnected to the Detroit system, the water is still not safe because of the corroded pipes."

The emergency manager paid the notorious Veolia Corporation $40,000 to conduct a study which recommended reducing other unsafe pollutants with chemicals and using filters. Veolia did not address the lead pipe corrosion issue. Now that it will cost well over $1 billion to replace the corroded pipes, will Veolia emerge with an offer to rebuild the infrastructure in exchange for being allowed to privatize the water department? Unlikely.

Ignoring people reporting stomach problems, skin rashes and hair loss after the switch to the Flint River, Governor Snyder and officials in the state Department of Environmental Quality repeatedly assured Flint residents the water was safe to drink and bathe with. It took two years for the government to acknowledge the lead in the water, so that people would start drinking bottled water. Now with the outbreak of Legionnaire's Disease, it is not even safe to take a shower.

It was only because of community activists like pediatrician Dr. Mona Hanna-Attisha, and Michigan ACLU investigative journalist Curt Guyette that a federal investigation ensued. Community members got their tap water tested and exposed the lead poisoning in the local children. University of Virginia professor and water safety specialist Marc Edwards played a leading role by filing a Freedom of Information Act request, obtaining emails between the governor and his of staff, Dennis Muchmore that clearly demonstrate their knowledge of the people's health problems and their deliberate decision to sweep them under the rug.

People are calling for Governor Snyder to go to jail. But meanwhile, many community members who refused to pay their water bills in protest, are getting shut-off notices. The United Nations has already gotten involved investigating water shut-offs in Detroit, where 10,000 people are living without running water in the city's attempt to get rid of blighted neighborhoods by making them uninhabitable. On January 15, 2016, US Congress passed a bill that blocks the EPA's clean water protection plan.

http://newtrendmag.org/ntma1637.htm

Michigan Sisters Helping Syrian Refugees

Two of my fellow graduates of Wayne State University in Detroit are abroad looking into the situation of Syrian refugees.

Neda Kadri, a Syrian first generation American from Dearborn, Michigan is currently in Greece as part of a volunteer group that is helping rafts full of people onto shore and assisting with immediate aid such as mittens and blankets. Rashida Tlaib, a Palestinian first generation American from Southwest Detroit and former Michigan Congresswoman, is part of a delegation visiting refugee camps in Lebanon along with Ali Saleh, the mayor of Bell, Michigan. They are doing a brilliant job bringing light to the American people regarding the desperate yet seemingly permanent situation of Syrian refugee families.

"Most days are 15 plus hours of nonstop work. I haven't even yet processed what I'm experiencing," Neda Kadri messaged me. "I've never felt as alive as I do on this island. I've found my calling and it is I that is grateful for the opportunity to serve!"

The volunteer group, whom celebrity Susan Sarandon joined for a day, waits by the shore for rafts full of refugees. People in wetsuits wade into the frigid water to bring people ashore. The weather is cold, but this has not stopped the influx of refugees. As each raft lands, the people shout "Allahu Akbar!" and help the people onto land. Many rafts arrive every day. When it is pouring rain and these people have no shelter. People can hand out blankets but at a certain point, everything is soaking wet.

"We are deeply concerned because hundreds of refugees and migrants are continuing to arrive despite the winter cold," said Boris Cheshirkov, the UNHCR spokesperson on Lesbos.

Cheshirkov said that in the first three weeks of 2016, more than 20,000 people have arrived after crossing the Mediterranean, more than the total numbers of arrivals for the first five months of 2015. "It's an incredibly desperate situation. Yesterday alone, on January 20, we saw about 40 boats, overloaded rubber dinghies, amid ice cold winds, with snow and rough seas, coming through this perilous journey from Turkey to Greece to seek safety," Cheshirkov said.

Ongoing funds are desperately needed to provide basic necessities to people landing on shore. https://www.gofundme.com/85evvexn 

There is no government, nor NGO, who is doing this. This is a totally volunteer group relying on your donations to help each Syrian person arriving on a raft.

Meanwhile. Rashida Tlaib visited Shatila refugee camp of Palestinians that had to flee their homes in 1949 and 1969. The delegation from Michigan not only observed but played with the children, some of whom were wearing flip flops in the snow. The delegation traveled about two hours from Beirut over the snowy mountains to the border of Syria, in the Bekaa Valley. They found a small camp full of Syrian refugee families being housed in temporary shacks. Some have lived there for nearly 5 years.

"Their stories deserve to be told individually. Like Hajji who is 9 years old but is smaller than an average 5 year old and healthcare is really impossible. Or Zeinab who is an orphan and is mothering (pretty darn well) her younger brother and has more dignity and honor than I can fathom. And Yisra who is embarrassed she has worn the same pink outfit for 3 yrs and can sing her ABCs so well," writes Kristin McCarthy.

"My heart broke today. This is beyond a crisis," reported Rashida Altlaib. "When we pulled up to Barelias Syrian Refugee Camp in Bekaa Valley, it was three large fields of tent homes. So many children, beautiful children who are more than statistics spewed out in the news and policy briefs we are given. The health clinic coordinator said he never seen people like us who just stopped and played with the kids, but really looked at them and listened. The tears won't stop when I think of those precious faces. May Allah protect them and give them strength, Ya Rab." The group also visited Burj el Barajneh refugee camp in Lebanon.

"Met with U.S. Ambassador to Egypt, Stephen Beecroft. Most people think of the pyramids when Egypt is mentioned, it is so much more. One of four Arabs in the world are Egyptian and the instability in the country can impact the rest of the world because of the importance of the Suez Canal," posted the Mayor Ali Saleh, of Bell, Michigan.

The Arab American Institute delegation held a panel forum at the American University of Cairo on public policy and the experience of serving as Arab Americans in our communities. Rashida took some photos of Shatila Refugee Camp, which demonstrate a serious need for electric rewiring.

"Over the past 4 years, I've been touched and deeply saddened by the Syrian refugees suffering due to the war in their country. Yesterday, the Arab American Institute delegation ‪#‎aaiusa‬ visited a refugee camp in the border area of Lebanon in the Bekaa Valley. None of us were prepared to the human tragedy we've witnessed no matter how many pictures/ videos we've seen, articles we've read or conversations we've had about it.

"Hearing from Zeinab how both of her parents were killed in the war, and how she fled Aleppo with her grandmother and uncle is heartbreaking. Zeinab and her friend Aya insisted that I have a cup of tea in their tents.

"Hajji is 8 years old boy looks like a 5 years old due to a disease. His mother has desperately talked to every agency that visits the camp to no avail. A mobile "pharmacy" , a doctor and two nurses visit the camp once a month to provide medical care. As moving as these pictures are, the tragedy is much bigger to be depicted in pictures, videos or even personal stories!"

These amazing women from Detroit area are bringing us the real situation.

Breastfeeding rates still low despite global education

Despite widespread awareness of the importance of breastfeeding to the human child, mothers in developed countries demonstrate low rates of compliance with global recommendations. Nursing past six months is the exception rather than the rule. Bottle-feeding infants has become normal. Exclusive and extensive breastfeeding has become a pastime primarily for the rich with some interesting exceptions. Nordic countries exhibit the overall highest European breastfeeding rate with England ranking lowest. UAE ruling class mothers exclusively breastfeed the longest among Arabs while Iraq suffers the lowest breastfeeding rates. US Whites and Native Americans are most likely to breastfeed while Blacks and Hispanics are the least likely.

Class plays a large role in decision to breastfeed, for far fewer women belonging to the routine and manual labor socio-economic group nurse beyond six weeks than is typical of professional women and full time mothers. Yet, religion and philosophy also affect women's decision to breastfeed. In Singapore non-Malay Muslim women are 6.7 times more likely to breastfeed than Buddhist women although Malays have the lowest rate. Urban babies receive half the breast milk of rural babies. The youngest mothers tend to supplement with bottles from birth.

The World Health Organization and UNICEF work hard to promote breastfeeding worldwide, but their success is undermined by factors such as free infant formula distribution, hospital practices and lack of personal support. Breastfeeding is a learned skill requiring effort and focus. Good intentions are not always enough to establish lactation. "Baby-friendly hospital" initiatives in many countries have significantly increased breastfeeding but rates are still well below optimum health guidelines.

Almost all new mothers attempt breastfeeding but few continue for the recommended period. According to UNICEF the early introduction of bottle-feeding and complementary food leads to premature weaning, which is the primary cause of malnutrition in children under age two worldwide.

Many women give up nursing in favor of bottle-feeding out of a sense of powerless over the situation. These mothers often wanted very much to nurse their child, but they lost their chance. Hospitals fail to promote exclusive breastfeeding of newborns. Most new mothers receive free samples of formula because of multi-million dollar deals between hospitals and pharmaceutical companies and come home with their babies already addicted to the bottle. Coaxing a newborn child to breastfeed after he has been bottle-fed even just once or twice can be a big struggle. Success may be impossible without the aid of a midwife or lactation counselor because unfortunately even the older generation of mothers lack sufficient knowledge.

When newborns reject the breast, mothers typically try for a while, then give up and supply a bottle. This teaches the baby that refusing to nurse will be rewarded. Parents must exercise "tough love" by declining to give the baby a bottle even if it takes several hours or even days for the baby to nurse willingly. (If the baby gets dehydrated, do give him water with a cup or medicine dropper, but introducing a bottle creates "nipple confusion" which is disastrous for the mother-child relationship).

Some women give up on breastfeeding because the husband insists. This tragedy reveals a stripping away at women's postnatal rights and sets a dangerous precedent. Nursing a baby is an exhausting and time-consuming job requiring family help, encouragement, and support especially from the father to enable mother and child to be together undisturbed as much as possible particularly during the first 40 days of the baby's life.

Many women manage to make it through those hardest days in the beginning and then stop breastfeeding after a few weeks out of fear of insufficient milk supply. These mothers need to increase their consumption of calories and to get adequate rest. Under no circumstances should they give their baby a bottle because this will only decrease the supply of breastmilk. Sometimes it is actually the doctor's advice to start feeding their babies solids before 6 months that leads to premature weaning. A mother needs to weigh the fun of spoon-feeding her infant against the risk of premature rejection of the breast.

Thus bottle-feeding rates remain high despite awareness that breastmilk alone contains all the nutrients, antibodies, hormones and immune factors that a baby needs.

"Encouraging exclusive breastfeeding has to become a high priority in all sectors of society," said Dr. Mahendra Sheth, UNICEF Regional Health and Nutrition Adviser for the Middle East and North Africa. Exclusive breastfeeding for six months followed by complementary feeding between 6-9 months with continued breastfeeding through the first year could save an estimated 1.5 million lives annually.

Women receiving adequate advice can often prolong nursing even after returning to work outside the home. Premature infants particularly need breast milk for the best odds in life.

Pregnant women should read books on how to breastfeed and understand fully the necessary commitment to avoid making a tragic mistake to be remembered with regret.

http://newtrendmag.org/ntma1640.htm

Movement Supporting Dr. Aafia Calls for Countrywide Protests

February 21, 2016 

[NOTE: I apologize for neglecting to post for a few months. The catch-up posts will be in the wrong chronological order. After that I promise to try and keep up my blog.]

March 16 marks 13 years that Dr. Aafia Siddiqui has been wrongfully imprisoned. Aafia was a foreign student from Pakistan who graduated with honors from MIT and Brandeis University. She and her children were kidnapped in Pakistan and held without charge for five years in Afghan prisons under US control. According to Reuters, Siddiqui was wanted by the FBI in 2003 for questioning for possible ties to al Qaeda and was detained by Pakistani authorities. Things went terribly wrong, and rather than admit their grievous error, which included killing her baby, the US accused her of attacking a US soldier - even though she is the one who got a bullet in her stomach. Former US Attorney General Ramsey Clark has described Aafia's ordeal as "the worst case of individual injustice I have ever witnessed."
AafiaMovement.com/the-aafia-mobilizations 

The Boston Rally on International Women's Day will be the first of four mobilizations for Dr. Aafia Siddique also planned for March 2016 in NY, DC and Fort Worth, Texas. Help us spread the word and build toward these actions. Contact Br. Mauri Saalakhan at peacethrujustice@aol.com for exact time and place, and to volunteer.

The issue is becoming increasingly urgent. There was an attack on Aafia's family's house in Karachi at 3am on February 16! The attempted kidnapping of Aafia's children occurred just a couple days after a February 14 huge Valentine's Day "We Love Aafia" march took place, which included many young children. Asmat Siddiqui, the mother of Dr Aafia Siddiqui, said that the attack of terrorists on the house of Dr Aafia in Karachi and the threats to the family are a message to them to keep silent on the issue of Aafia. The family is refusing to back down from their mission to bring Aafia home, despite being under threat of their lives; surely we have a deep obligation to support them!

In a statement released Tuesday, Aafia's mother said that the politicians have disappointed the nation of Pakistan on the issue of Aafia. They only did politics on her name. She appealed to the chief of army, Staff Gen Raheel Sharif, to play his role in bringing home Aafia and become immortal in history like Muhammad Bin Qasim. Briefing the media on the details of the attack on her house, Asmat Siddiqui said on the night between Monday and Tuesday at 3:00am, three unknown armed terrorists reached her house. They fed the dog some intoxicating substance and later beat up a volunteer of the Aafia Movement, Amir, who was guarding the house.

They asked Amir to tell them in which rooms the children of Aafia reside and which schools they attend. When Amir refused to reply to their questions, they told him they already knew. Then he was tortured mercilessly and fell unconscious. Between 6 and 7:00am when the occupants of the house came out, they found Amir injured and tied up with ropes.

Dr. Fowzia said police were informed about the incident. She asked which type of national security plan is this, in which the citizens are not provided any security. She said 13 years ago, on the day after the kidnapping of Aafia Siddiqui [and her children], we were also told to keep silent; otherwise, four dead bodies would be found on the back street of their house. She said this threat is being employed again "to pressure us not to raise our voices for the release of Aafia Siddiqui."

"As the Siddiqui family, frontline supporters of the Aafia Movement-Pakistan, and supporters from the US branch of the International Free Aafia Movement have already made clear, We Will Not Be Intimidated into a posture of Silence and Inaction! The struggle will continue!" writes Mauri Saalakhan, Aafia's unofficial ambassador in the US, who is organizing the upcoming mobilizations.

He is asking Muslims in the US to bombard the Embassy of Pakistan in Washington, DC, with CALLS and E-MAILS. Phone: 202-243-6500 / E-mail: info@embassyofpakistanusa.org 

In your communication please express your concern regarding the safety of Dr. Aafia Siddiqui's family in Karachi, Pakistan; and demand that the Pakistani government do more to get their citizen released and returned home where she belongs.

Who were the kidnappers? What political objective could possibly be gained by re-kidnapping Aafia's children? Most importantly - what can we do, what will we do as Americans to bring attention to our fellow Muslims and neighbors regarding the plight of this young woman, who has become the international face of the Disappeared? Her situation is not that unique. Political kidnappings are quite common throughout the world.

However, this is a girl who went to school in Massachusetts, who was known. She gave speeches during Muslim events, she was a leader in enthusiastic charity efforts and was even quoted in the news saying that if Americans learned about the beauty of Islam, they would all want to become Muslims! You can't just disappear someone like that and pretend it didn't happen. And indeed, she has become the Daughter of Pakistan. In many ways, her fate will determine the future of her nation.

http://newtrendmag.org/ntma1642.htm

Non-Muslims Supporting Muslims: The Aafia Case Appeal; Stiff Attitude of CAIR Rep.

March 6, 2016

Saturday February 27, the ISBCC in Roxbury (Boston) held a well-attended event called "Mercy and Justice" which welcomed a rally led by Veterans for Peace and included Quakers and other peace activist groups in a statement of solidarity with their Muslim neighbors. Imam Talib Mandee, who is a veteran, and Rev James Todd gave a convocation. Many veterans spoke, including a very old WWII veteran, some emphasizing Muslim veterans and others saying war is bad and we are not enemies.

The event was attended by Boston police commissioner Bob Evans who spoke on behalf of the Mayor saying "We love Muslims."

VFP Statement of Solidarity

"We, as veterans of the United States military, stand against the targeting, hatred, bigotry, and Islamophobia currently being directed towards the Muslim community.

Muslims are not the enemy. There are 1.6 billion Muslims in the world and only a very small percentage support ISIS or other terrorist organizations. Many Muslims are U.S. citizens and are as loyal, hardworking and patriotic as all other Americans. Muslims serve in every branch of the United States Military. Today within the United States, many Muslims are afraid in their own homes and neighborhoods. They often live in fear that other Americans may target them for harassment, threats, and in some cases physical harm, because of who they are and where they worship.

As veterans who have served this country both in war and peace-time, we declare that this hatred, verbal abuse, and physical hostility being directed towards our Muslim friends, neighbors and co-workers is not in keeping with the American values of fostering brotherhood and sisterhood with our fellow Americans. This type of bigotry in 2016 is simply unacceptable, Un-American and we call for its immediate end."

www.smedleyvfp.com 

Also addressing the crowd included Dr. John Robbins, representing CAIR. He thanked the vets for fighting for our freedom and for their service to our country.

After the speeches, everyone was invited inside for lunch while they had a question and answer session about the Islamic religion. During this time I handed out the flyer for the Aafia mobilization and told her story to everyone who would listen, both Muslim and non-Muslims. Many of the VFP and other activists knew of Aafia while many people, including Muslims, did not know anything about Aafia's story. Everyone was polite and some became downright emotional when they heard of this travesty of justice. Everyone I spoke to promised to find out more, come to the demo, and/or spread the word.

After speaking with me, one brother enthusiastically approached the CAIR representative for his support. I noticed him giving Dr. Robbins my flyer so I walked over to them. The brother asked him if he knew about Aafia's case. Dr. Robbins said, "Yes we know about her" sort of curtly. I said, "I realize CAIR doesn't usually deal with political prisoners." Robbins became very stiff and tall, reminded me of an FBI agent. "We are satisfied with the decision of our nation," he stated and would not say anything more, even though I insisted that this issue is important to our nation first of all because of Constitutional protections - if you can be kidnapped and put into prison without any charges, that is unacceptable. And furthermore, this issue is very important to the Pakistani people and therefore plays a huge role in international relations. Seeing that I wasn't getting anywhere with him I wandered off to VFP president Barry Ladendorf and others who were extremely supportive.

All in all it was a nice experience. It was great to see all my favorite kind of people in one place together. I hope to see more and more of us working together. Since then CAIR seems to be toning down the anti-Aafia rhetoric. Hopefully they will join us in the struggle.

http://newtrendmag.org/ntma1644.htm

Monday, May 25, 2015

Spiritual Journey: For non-Muslims and Muslims.

Until we truly understand "la ilaha," how can we understand "il Allah"?

Every single person born on this earth is a Divine Being. While Christianity teaches that all human beings are born flawed, Islam teaches that all human beings are born perfect, sinless.
All human beings have access to their Higher Self if they choose to seek it. Seeking refuge in your Higher Self does not mean that your Lower Self is not real. It just means that your selfish or satanic urges are less important to you. When you sprinkle a teaspoon of salt into your drink, it will take away the sweetness, but if you put a teaspoon of salt into your bath, it will not affect much. Imagine if you put a teaspoon of salt into the ocean, nobody would notice it at all! The best way to deal with evil in your personal life is to make it a very small part of your life.
Instead of worrying about our problems we have to get used to dealing with them and even planning ahead for them to arise.
"Those who are first on the battlefield and await the opponents are at ease; those who are the last on the battlefield and head into battle get worn out. Therefore good warriors cause others to come to them, and do not go to others," wrote Sun Tzu in "The Art of War," a Japanese classic from around 500 BC.
This could mean many things on different levels but those who are at peace with the concept that life is all about struggle are at ease, while those who delay are unlikely to attain any victory.
I open a page of the book by Lao Tzu named Tao Te Ching. "It is easy to maintain a situation while it is still secure."
Lao Tzu is said to be an older teacher of Confucius who was a Chinese philosopher also around 500 BC. Totally different country, same insight. We are most at ease when we are maintaining a situation or position, whether it's military, financial or emotional.
It's not that Asian knowledge is so unique or special but rather that it just makes sense when you think about it. Presumably, these sages were drawing upon centuries of past teachings.
The same thing when we read from the Quran. Although this book is only 1400 years old, it discusses stories and concepts that go back to the BC era. A very large portion of the Quran is dedicated to discussing the Laws of Moses and the Teachings of Christ. I think Moses was supposed to have lived about 2000 BC and Jesus around the year 0. The Buddha is also said to have reformed India from its paganism around 5 BC. The scriptural teachings of the Buddha and Jesus tend to overlap. The spiritual goal of selflessness seems to be the common path.
Shaykh Hakim Moinuddin Chishti writes in the book, "Sufi Healing," that "In its progression through life, the physical body passes through stages from infancy to youth, adulthood and old age. Similarly, the soul passes through specific evolutionary stages or stations."
These are described as the Station of Egotism, the Heart, the Pure Spirit, the Divine Secrets, the Proximity to Allah, and lastly, the Station of Union with the Beloved. There is some philosophical overlap between this and the 7 chakras, which are physical energy centers along the human spine. Knowledge of the chakras is essential for directing healing energy into specific realms. Direction of light into the crown chakra is said to be equivalent to spiritual enlightenment or God-consciousness.
Nowadays people are trying to find spiritual meaning beyond what their parents thought they should strive for. Even if they all agree that Paradise is the goal, their plan of action may differ.
"O chivalrous youth! If tomorrow you go to paradise and you look at it from the corner of your heart's eye, in truth, in truth, you will have fallen short of Adam's aspiration. Something that your father sold for a grain of wheat - why would you want to settle down there?" writes Said al-Din Farghani, a disciple of Ibn al Arabi's stepson, Sadr al-Din Qunawi, in the 13th century.
Therefore our entire idea of paradise could be suspect. We need to let go and experience something like spiritual exile and abandonment, until we find our true home. We can only do this by disbelieving all that we have ever been told. "La ilaha" means rejection of all false gods. It means repudiating this world and all its glittery offerings and falsehoods.
Until we truly understand "la ilaha," how can we understand "il Allah." The Asian concept of Taoism, for example yin-yang, gives us the language of balance and opposites. 'There is no god' is like the night. 'except Allah' is like the daylight. You need both for the 24 hour cycle to exist. It is just as important to doubt everything as it is to believe. Otherwise, your belief has no meaning.
Whether we are doing yoga or doing salat, the aim is spiritual Oneness. May we all be strengthened in our spiritual practices however small, so that we may see the Great.

Saturday, April 18, 2015

When is lying cultural?

Photo credit:  Photodune




This week, I am thinking about a certain type of lie, that I do not understand because I didn’t grow up with. In the Anglo-Saxon-American culture, yes means yes, no means no and it’s ok to say, “I don’t know yet.” If I personally were to tell a lie, it would only be a deliberate attempt to get away with something that I don’t want the other to know about. But I would never say, “I’ll meet you at 3:00 inshallah” and not show up!
What purpose does this type of lying serve, and what is going through the mind of the person doing it? Avoiding conflict? Is it really so important to be agreeable that you would then inconvenience the person? Your word is your honor! If you habitually lie about things that don’t even matter much, where is the person inside you that another person can connect with? Or is there just a persona?
Some people lie habitually. I have noticed certain cultures don’t like to say no, or they don’t want to disappoint you, or they don’t want to get in a deep discussion about what they can and cannot offer versus what they want. To me, honest back and forth is the basis of relationship!
For example, someone has been doing this to me repeatedly. It could be anything from “What are you doing today?” to “Do you want to buy a house together?” But it’s usually a friendly attempt on my part to coordinate plans, goals and dreams. The person will respond agreeably, then after a while, will stop responding. Then when confronted, will make up a story, and the previous conversation dead ends. Or, when asked a simple yes or no question, would not answer, and then again make up a story about not getting the text or some other excuse.
It’s clearly meant to avoid a certain type of discussion. There might be a miscommunication or misunderstanding about coordination of plans vs. having time (two separate issues in my mind).
The other thing some do is becoming silent to send a message of displeasure rather than just stating what the problem is, putting the other person in the position of having to read your mind.
This irritating behavior can be frustrating. Are they arrogantly neglecting our need to communicate? …or maybe they haven’t said the simple truth throughout their entire life?
“Many cultures don’t have the same black and white standard of Americans,” advised Ashley Jones, who has been in a cross cultural marriage for the last eight years and enjoys hosting foreign exchange students in her home.
“You want to have a yes/no black/white conversation which is very American style. I know I have come to a place where I get more direct when I need a definite answer from my students. I guess those cultures have much looser definition of lying. I don’t think it is a lie specifically to deceive with malice but more of saving face or not wanting to disappoint. I think when dealing cross culturally, we have to give grace and adjust our expectations.”
Not only is there an East-West conflict about communication styles, but in both cultures men often engage in attempts at female appeasement to avoid upsetting her rather than just discussing the situation as they would do with a male friend. Maybe some of this weird communication style has to do with sexism. Some men don’t view women as someone you coordinate together with; it can be more about mutually pleasing each other rather than working together as a team. Women can be loved deeply but are not always part of decisions.
Some cultures, due to political oppression, may also have an exaggerated fear of being accused, resulting in overreaction. If you are sensitive to being interrogated by the police, you might overreact to your wife asking for attention. Even a normal question like “Are you home?” might make a man feel obligated to do whatever she wants or she will be upset.
“To a large degree, I have noticed this phenomenon in East Asian and Middle Eastern cultures. This is a desire, both for the sake of courtesy and avoidance of conflict. To put it mildly, it can be frustrating when one is engaged in negotiation or evenly simply trying to plan social events. Obviously, cultural programming, of ANY variety, is a tricky issue to deal with, particularly when it has been absorbed into spiritual and religious practice,” Christian Zedd told TMO. His parents worked in Iran from 1974-1978 when he was aged 12-16. 
“Truth be told, we ALL carry our upbringing’s cultural inheritance with us. About the best we can do, corny as it sounds, is call them as we see them and play the cards as they’re dealt, recognizing that we don’t all have the same cards.
Basically, the closer the relationship, the more important it is to clarify the terms and values. One can work or chat with just about anyone on the planet. For something like marriage or a business partnership, there had better be virtual identity of values and focus. That would boil down to one’s faith and the role of faith in one’s life.”
“Why do Lovers Lie?” on truthaboutdeception.com states: “When interdependence is high, telling the truth is important. Telling the truth allows people to coordinate their actions, create intimacy and closeness. But, interdependence also makes deception more likely. Because partners expect and demand a lot from us, telling the truth carries more risk.
“Telling the truth in a close relationship can lead to increased conflict, negativity and it can restrain one’s goals (i.e., “you can’t do that”). As it stands, both telling the truth and deception are needed to make a relationship work. Intimacy requires honesty, but complete honesty tears couples apart. Finding the right balance, can be difficult for many couples to do.”